


yaku's terrible horrible no good very bad day (alternatively: bokuto-san is hot)

by Pinktoria



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Airplane, BoFA, Bomb, M/M, a lot of screaming, kuroo just wanted to take a shower, no, nyooooooom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-09-03 11:05:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8710144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinktoria/pseuds/Pinktoria
Summary: im procrastinating





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HelloHumanBeings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloHumanBeings/gifts).



"hell o yes =ia m haiba lev" wsaid haiba lev (he is haiba lev)  
"shut the fuck offk id," say YAKUUUUU  
"DUKCD" siad lev, as he drive his airplane (nyoooooom) at yaku house  
ya,ku is all like "WHA THE FU

 

 

CKING FUCK IN A DUCK WITH A BUCK DOWN ON ITS LUCK DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING" says yaku, ducking (he is really good at duckign you dont even know)

"What" sayd lev(i) ,,,, and suddenyl he was 160 cm..............................w aht the fuck..................................................................................  
"lol ur shorter thgan me loser" says yaku, but he is surprised as lev suddenyl he is 180 cm................. and he put his hair different like, htere is some of it on 1 side and less of it on the other side  
":WTFFf??f? ?? ? ? ?? ? ? ? ? ? VIKto R niki foRVO!!!!!?!!????????????" syas yak  
"who is trhat i am Corporal Levi Ackerman" says Corporal Levi Ackerman

"good rys  
e"  
says yakiu

now yachi is therea nd shes screa,ming but i dk why, you should ask her that not me i am jusdt a lowly author dstoop bullying me  
oh now i know why shes scre,ming  
"?THERES A BOMB IN THE PLANW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelsl yiaicihii  
"Waht he fuck!!!" syas Corporal Lev Haiba (codenameL: viktore nikiforvo))

"guys who left the heat on its fucking hot in here" says kuroo, walking into the part of the plane they are in rn (idk what it is), and then kuroo is noticing what is happening  
yaku and lev and yachi are standing together in the cockpit (hahah ha ha ha aha hahahah ahah ahha aha cockmeans rooster did u know that, just an interesting poultry fact) and yachi is holding a bomb and lev is suddenly 14.3 insches less than he probably should be  
"what the fuck is going on in here" says kuroo

"polish nail polish" says yaku  
":: i feel like yaku just proporly summed this up" syas lev, nodd  
"ok, but seriously who lefft the heater on" says kuroo, becaus ehe doesnt really care about what the fuck is going on in here he just wants someone to turn the heat off  
he tries to take a shower and this is what he gets its too fucking hot  
dont ask why theres a shower on the plane

"theres a bomb" says yachi, pretty dang calm

"ok," says kuroo "well now that i cant take a shower you lot wanna get cheeky nandos w/ the lads"  
"chgeeky nandos" says yaku, doing a nod "the lads being bokuto"  
"bokuoto" says yachi "is kinda hot, i would date him if i werent so gay for kiyoko"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"teru shima thin ks so t oo" syas kuroo after a random bout of silence  
"shtu the fuyck up kuroo" says lev "Everyone thisnk bokuots hot"  
"tru" says yaku, nmod

the end  
thsi was a story about bokuot being hot


	2. Chapter 2

"bokuto's hot legs" siays lev  
"Wjat" says beacially everyone elsem, because lev that was so random what event the fuck

 

 

"i jsut thought i would nmention his legs, that happen to be hot"  
"no lev" syas sysysys yaku, "ur legs r the hottest legs. do u kno y?"

 

"ummmmmm  
mmmmmmm  
mmm  
mmm  
mmmmm  
mm  
m  
mmmm  
mm  
mmmm  
m  
m  
mmm

 

no??"  
says lev

 

"well the reason is because youre so fucking tall, youre like.............. youre like those guys you see walking around at carnivals on stilts" yaku says because that is the only connecteion he can make  
"and youre like an ant from up here yaku!!!!!!! ur so tiny-"  
yaku kciks lev in the shins  
lev screams

the doorbell rigns (theyre still in the plane because they all live in the plane but the plane has a doorbell)

"um," syas kuroo "if yall are done being gay someone get the door"  
"ok" saiys kenma who is suddenly there for some reason  
"HEY KEMNMA GTFO IM THE SHORT SUPPORTING CHARACRER HERE!!!!!!!!" yells yachi

"what about me" says yaku  
"youre not a supporting character yaku you piece of shit"  
"rude"

 

kenma gets the door

 

"hello yes please go away, no visitors, no one is home, please leave a message at the beep" says kenma

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"wheres the beep" says bokuto, who is standing outside the plane at the door  
"theres no beep because nobody wants you to leave a message" kenma says, he is so snarky, what a little shit

bokuto screams ansd pushes past kenma, rip kenma who was in this fanfic for exaclty 3 secodns to answer the door (but hes stil there he didnt leav)

 

"hi bo" syas kuro  
"bro stop calling me that im not obamas dog"  
"Yes you are"

"wow now whos gay" says yaku

"wtf i thought i was gay for kenma""""" sya skuroo going liie ))): (():()()():: : >:?  
"whyt not bofa" syas bokuop

 

"whjat is bofa" asxks poor innocent kenma

 

"keNMA NO DONT" Aylels kuroo  
"KENMA NO YOU WERE SO YOUUUUNNNNGGGG" Sobs yachi

"yachi im a year older than u,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but what is bofa" kenma say

 

"i knew ye well, kenma" says lev, he is cry

"jfc" says kenmo (his name is kenmo)

 

 

"bofa deez nuts" says boikuto

"oh goddamnit i dont know what i was exprecitng" says kenmao


	3. Chapter 3

"im changing mey nmae" says kenmo  
"Wajt" wasya lev!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

""MY NAME i m chaning it u stupid fricking skyscraper""" says kenma  
"oh" sya slev, fucking stupiodn skyscraper

 

""'AAAAAAAAAAAAAA" kUROo runs the FUCK IN THERE crashing through the wall " I THOUGHT I TOLD U FUCKE R SN OT TO USE THE HEA TER IN FHTE FXDTUPID FUCKIGN BATHROOM  
"""

lev screams because ykuoroos fucking scary, hes a demon just look at him  
"fuck u kruo" say kema "fvuck the rules!!!! viva la revolution!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!""""""""" " " " "" " """"" " "" "" "" " " "

 

"hey fuck you  
" says yachi who is still here what the fuck  
"Yachi u dont live with su you dummy" says bokuto

"BUoktouo you dont live with us either""" says yaku who is also there  
"fuick," says boiko

"im a magician and im chanign mey name" sya skem  
"what why" says kuro  
":because im a magician"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"what r u chainging ur enme to "" sya s  
kurop

 

"kenma kazam"  
"the magaiican" says ken,ma kazam the magaican

 

"ok" says kuro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is charamandern00dles come scream @ me


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it comes to my attention that this is no longer about yakus bad day or bokuto being hot unfortunately

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whyy

"Immmm startin ti get the feeling you guys dont lnow how to turn the fuckin heather off in the bathroom" says kurooooo

lev VEOO and is like "yes we DO [Anger]"

"Suuuuure [sarcasm"] syas kooru

m"mmmm aybe we should get a maid" says bokuto

"YA DONT LIVBE HERE BO GO HOME" SCREEE yaku @ boikyto

"Hye guys do we have any peanur butter" says yachi, who live s

"no just leave" says yaku

"but i live s )))),,,;;" says yahci, wjo live s

"*NOTICES THE HEATER ON IN THE BATHROOM* OWO WHATS THIS. A HEATER. THAT NOBODY TURNED OFF. WO W. SOMEONE SHOULD TURN THAT OFF YOU PIECES OF SHIT"DHOUTER KUR

"Is it always so fucking LOUD IN HERE""" srcwreamed kenmo

"SHUT UR HECK KOMO" said everyyobe alese

 

 

"Mmm

M  
M

M  
M  
M  
M

mm

 

how bout no"" say koenoma (akakaka kenma")

"i hate alll of you" says *tachi (*yachi doing tai chi)

"whaf the fixk" said kuroo "i just wanna take a shower i am. Dirty boy."

"ew" yaku sscrubches up his entire face like theres a fuxkibg black hole in it "never say that to me agaone"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> he is a. Dirty boy.


End file.
